That time again

At what point will my blog become akin to those blogs I’ve read over the years? When did the bloggers turn from writing down their thoughts and feelings (yucky) to actually becoming more PC and their writing turned into something that was correct, funny, and didn’t touch on what was going on in their head. At least, didn’t go into the deeper emotions. Maybe, just maybe their heads are quieter than mine. More neat. Less self-absolved, more…fun.

My thoughts aren’t fun.

For example, today I have been screamed at, yelled at, and pushed around (literally). Then I got out of bed. Parenthood is awesome, but man do the hours suck. Coming downstairs, I find the house in chaos cause the doggie had an upset stomach and Dave tried to get it all cleaned up before work…and Bekah was climbing all over the wet cushions. We still don’t know what Brandi, dog, got into that racked havoc on her tummy but if she hadn’t been sitting there giving me puppy dog eyes, I would have thought she exploded. Cut to later, with errands done, house cleaned up, the score is kids (and dog) 2…Mom 1/2. I only got that half because I was able to clean up the van and have it stay clean.

What does this have to do with my thoughts? Well, one of the things I did in the background of my mind while cleaning, running out, shopping, yelling, chasing, was “writing” a blog post. It was awesome you guys. Funny, sarcastic and very well written (OK, not well written). However, as the time worn on, and I still couldn’t get to the computer, my thoughts jump out of order, got mixed up, bordering on depressing…and THEN I got a chance to blog.

Sitting here, having calmed the kids by tv (tvvvvvvvvvv) and the dog is asleep, I’m trying to remember my various awesome entertaining thoughts. Then I remember what Dave told me…this blog isn’t to entertain, it is for ME to get my thoughts out. Dave doesn’t know what he is enabling. If I wrote half of what occurs to me…muhahaha.

oh oh I remember something! I’ve been thinking a lot about outside appearances, a person’s outside appearance to be exact. You can never tell who is a kindle spirit by looking at them. There are people that naturally draw my eye, not because they are beautiful, but something about them interest me. Its very awkward to be looking at someone (for just a sec I swear) and they happen to glance at you. I sometimes wonder if that is what Jesus did at times, just observed others. I don’t have the Lord’s ability to understand or know another’s mind, and I wonder at times why I’m so interested in learning about others. Nosy? Probably. I want to figure out why people do stuff, say stuff. Analyze them, cause they confuse the heck out of me.

I have an angry neutral face, so at times people think I’m scowling at them. I think I’ve scared some people…snicker. I try to put a smile on my face so people don’t think I’m mad…but wearing a smile all the time also makes one look slightly unhinged, so there is no winning there. Makes me wonder how often people I think look quite upset are actually just fine. You can’t always go by outside appearances to understand a person…and that applies to actions also. The neighbor who blasts his music ALL THE TIME might just be a great guy if I talked to him. I just don’t like him…kidding.

Well, my children have decided that leaning the rocker chair so far back it almost touches the ground is fun and not dangerous in any way.


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