I took down my last post because…well, no matter how correct I was, I was whiny. So many fights occur because, feeling misunderstood and unhappy, someone just won’t back down. That someone is usually me…well, obviously I’m not involved in ALL fights, like the ones you guys have…really, I’m not.
Moving on. I was a GREAT parent at the store this morning, getting my cleaning supplies. I commanded the kids to 1. not speak 2. don’t run ahead of me 3. don’t grab the cart (you know how many times I almost hit something or someone when a kid suddenly grabs the cart and jerks it in a different direction by accident?) 4. don’t touch ANYTHING. They obeyed.
You read that right…they obeyed me. Not perfectly at first, staying calm is hard for Matt, he was born with jumping beans inside him. The shopping trip went faster, I was able to control Bekah because no one was getting her excited, and it was quiet…oh so quiet. I feel bad telling them they can’t talk, but it worked. However, I finally had one shopping trip that the employees won’t praying I leave the store soon. Will I do it again? Nah. Dave and I came up with a plan to allow me to shop without the kiddos while he watches them. Not a novel plan, but involves him putting in extra hours most of the week so he can come home early one night a week for me to shop. He doesn’t know that I know he’s also doing that to cut my shopping trips down. I know, though.
Speaking of confessions, and me me me, I have a….umm confession to make. Don’t snicker at my awkward sentence. I’m tired. Anyhow, how many parents wake up before their kids, come downstairs, make breakfast, do chores, etc.? I see three hands. I’m not one of them. How many parents, with early bird kids, let their kids wake them up, and come downstairs with them, make breakfast, do chores, etc.? I’m usually that person. How many parents, when their kids wake them up, stumble downstairs, and lay down on the couch trying, trying to get a couple more minutes of shut eye while their kids bounce around the room and on them? Ummm, me. Only on my worse mornings, I swear. Which has been pretty much every day this week… How alone am I in this? Very? I thought so.
I’m so not comfortable being upfront about my thoughts, but I soooo need to get stuff down. My kids, God bless them, don’t listen (really mom? btw can I play the DS?) and my days and personality don’t lend time to vent to friends. Soon, soon, I will be one of those people cheerfully posting my projects and craft ideas. I will discuss how much I want to be a photographer and an artist, like they are really not the same thing, and what steps I’m taking to learn more about those worlds. I will post recipes and dinner ideas (snicker, ok maybe not).
Maybe one day I will talk about how I am managing to handle fibro, homeschooling, and raising four kids. THAT day I look forward to, because right now Fibro is kicking my butt.
When we struggle is when we feel the most alone, but its actually when we are not, for the eyes of God is on our hearts, and the friends and family left are those whose loyalty is stronger than anything on earth.