Well, some friends just showed their true colors. It really is saddening, as their walk with God was turning them into some very pleasant people to be around. But it seems that they have been internalizing all the issues they had with us as friends.
So I suppose the question is: How do YOU deal with a friend who is holding things against you, rarely considers themselves in the wrong, and doesn’t talk to you about these issues they have until they build up and boil over? I’m a firm believer that communication is key to a successful relationship, be it working acquaintance, friends, or marriage. So is a friend really being a friend when they hold things against you without giving you a chance to discuss it?
Personally, I think the answer is no. No they are not being good a friend. I believe that in order for a friendship to work, understanding and forgiveness are musts.
The bible says to Forgive and treat them like you have forgotten, but not to actually forget. Remembering past transgressions is otherwise known as wisdom. Forgetting your lesson God gave you would be folly! Now, remembering all the wrongs that have been done to you, and at the same time acting as if they never happened takes a LOT of will power and is really what makes true forgiveness hard.
Which then leads to the logical assertion that maintaining a good friendship, complete with understanding each other’s flaws and forgiveness…. is very very hard to do.
Well, coming full circle, my question still is: How do YOU deal with a friend who is holding things against you, rarely considers themselves in the wrong, and doesn’t talk to you about these issues they have until they build up and boil over?
Without going into details, I decided to cut to the chase, and call them on their behavior. The response was simply amazing. The shear amount of bile, hate and venom I received was nearly overwhelming. Personally, I’m not going to subject myself, or my family, to that kind of abuse anymore. So, these ‘friends’ have exited our lives, stage left.